The House republicans “compromised” on the new farm bill that was just passed by completely removing food stamp legislation from the bill. Don’t let the term “farm bill” fool you. It’s not like these subsidies are going to your average farmers that own a few hundred acres of farmland. This bill is being passed to give subsidies to multinational corporations that are responsible for doing all they can to put independent farmers out of business by buying up as much farmland as possible and controlling crop prices.
“That might not sound like much,” said Colbert. “The Farm Bill is a routine piece of legislation that provides subsidies for farmers while setting aside money for food stamps. It’s a win-win, help for the folks who grow the corn and help for folks who live on nothing but corn syrup.”
It’s been two years since the House passed a Farm Bill because 60 Republicans have wanted deeper cuts to food stamps.
“But, last week, House Republicans agreed to an historic compromise on food stamps,” said Colbert, “by eliminating the food stamps.”
He continued, “Republicans showed that they can compromise by removing the part of the bill they refused to compromise on. It’s like a cardiologist who’s having trouble treating a patient’s heart. Rather than getting bogged down with complicated procedures, he simply removes the heart.”
“Problem solved!” he quipped. “And the best part is that patient no longer needs food stamps.”